Not My Fault!

It usually seems to me that the person who whines/yells/declares 'It's Not My Fault!" ....well, it usually is TOTALLY their "fault".

We don't use the word "fault", we choose to use responsibility.

I almost did not blog about these behaviors, but as is the case often when people choose poorly, most people know. Certainly all my children and since this blog is primarily for them? I am addressing it here.

This past week the accountant at the middle school called me and said that Stuart had written a check for the Chorus fundraiser and it came back to the bank because of insufficient funds. I was very surprised but assured her it would be taken care of. I then called Stuart who drove from Henderson to the bank. As he looked at the check he told the bank person that he did not write it. He did pay he $30 the check was written for and brought it home to show me. SO obviously written by a child and so obviously a child with not much understanding because the checking account was perhaps the first Stuart ever had and was about 7 years old. Stuart no longer even uses that bank. Someone found a check book and thinking it was "good" and that Stuart would never know wrote a $30 check. That someone we felt sure was Isabella. It was Isabella's fundraiser and Isabella's handwriting.

Before the kids were home we (Stuart and myself) went through her room looking for the rest of the checks. What we found was a letter from the middle school accountant asking that Stuart take care of this check weeks ago! Hidden in the top of her cubbies between notebooks. I am imagining that she thought out of sight out of mind, or perhaps that it would just go away?

She did admit to taking (aka...stealing) the check and forging Stuart's signature. The check was in front of her, the letter as well. Scott and I simply amazed. Amazed at the audacity. This is certainly ground we have not stood on before. But, as with all things in life we sat down dealt with it. Seriously, what other choice is there?

We are so grateful that Stuart was understanding. He is a great guy! His love and understanding (even when you have no idea how to understand!) is an example I love as much as the young man!

For Bella? She had to write Stuart a letter of apology. She had to write the accountant a letter of explanation, basically taking ownership and exonerating Stuarts name. After hours(yes, hours) of her mad, slamming doors and complaining about the letters she got it right.

Her "not my fault!" moment? A good 2 hours in she asked me for the 12th time today if it was "alright"? Each time I corrected her and told her what words needed to be used. This letter was not about her, it was about clearing Stuart's name and taking ownership for the actions. She asked again what it was supposed to say and I refused to talk about it. I explained if she had not listened to the 12 preceding times I was sorry. Bella said, "It's not my fault you talk fast and I can't remember what you said!". I explained it was absolutely her "fault", her responsibility. We would not be writing letter had she not made these choices.

In the after math? She has to wake each morning in June and work an hour (from 8am-9am, making $1.68 for each hour) for me. She will earn the money to repay Stuart. She will repay the $30 plus $10 dollars for his gas to drive to Savannah plus $10 for his time. Crime does not pay and momma does not pay unless you work! So we shall hopefully all be on an even slate in July. Some consequences are harsh, but this time I feel it fit the actions.

I would like to say this will never happen again. I certainly will move forward with the intent that it does not and hope that all watching will never want to pay the price for this poor choice!