Tremendous Loss

My heart is so sad at the loss of so many innocent in Connecticut.  I think enough has unfolded now to know that the young man who committed this act was not mentally sound.  I have read articles like.....I am Adam Lanza's mother  and  I am Adam Lanza's Psychiatrist and I have read hateful ones about parents and doctors who disagree with these two. I've read about blame, blaming the family, blaming the medicines, blaming the security systems....everyone wants to place blame....everyone wants to place responsibility. I don't like the blame game.

I understand some of what the two articles reference,  I have been in the same place with some of my kids.  As I read the one from the mother I realized my Sam has all the same diagnosis as her "Michael", except autism.  In the past we have had episodes much like she described.  Mental Illness is a serious problem.  Most serious because there is no where to go....a navigation to no where.

We sadly live in a reactive world.  Innocent until proven guilty, no help is given just  based on what someone "thinks" might happen...it has to happen.  If I have found one thing in all my parenting of tough kids it is that....

I may try to be proactive but the world, society, the laws that govern us are purely reactive.

So when this happens?  I am not terribly surprised.  And in perfect fashion we all react. We all wonder what could have been done?  Intervention.   A very proactive intervention. One that health care does not support. Schools do not support.  Laws do not support.  An intervention BEFORE destruction.

In the whole mess, in all of the sadness I find only one thing I deem a "fault".  It was the responsibility of that mother to keep her son safe.  It is my opinion that weapons in the home of an emotionally disturbed child is wrong.  The lack of availability to guns might have changed the outcome.  I am not against guns. My family has guns, guns we keep locked up,  but not at our home.  It is an inconvenience, but it is also a necessity.

I sincerely hope that the points made by the Psychiatrist I linked above are taken into consideration.  This can surely happen again and again if we do not find a way to properly help those who are not capable of helping themselves.

But for now, for now we will watch people rage and lament and yell...I just hope it is all heard and something  proactive is done.