But gifting can seriously get out of hand....seriously. I've had to really reign in our gifting over the years. Truthfully, no one has died or fallen apart or been deprived. My children get a "Days of Christmas Gift" one day in December and a Christmas gift to open on Christmas Eve. Stocking are opened on Christmas morning (everyone knows Santa bring socks in the stocking!). It would be fun to have an endless money supply for gifting, but the question always begs "why?". I don't wait for any necessities at Christmas, if you need a coat or shoes or pants, I buy as we need. So logic follows if we already have what we need why by more? We also spend a large amount on gas for the trip to the beach. Groceries do not change because we eat the same there as home. We don't eat out. We do go to the movies and I am thankful my dad and step-mom buy the kids gift cards for the movie theater (a super wonderful gift for the young and old!).
Yesterday Seth rode to Millington with Scott and I to visit Carlton. It was visiting Sunday at the Ranch and all the other kids went to a Youth Rally in Columbia.
We visited a couple of hours with Carlton and then headed home. As we three ate dinner in KFC Seth was seriously campaigning for fish. He wants fish for Christmas. He had Scott going until I said, "Seth forgot to mention his gift has already been bought." Scott told Seth everyone else would have to have their gifts bought and then we would consider, we would see if there was any money left. Seth, in very typical happy healthy 11 year old fashion, looked at Scott with a smile and said, "I bet there will be enough!" It is those things that make me smile (or laugh).....we will see if the boys get fish for their living room or not (Seth isn't even selfish.....he will share...and is smart enough to have used that in his reasoning....something they will ALL love...lol).
I love those kind of extras. Carlton wanted a phone or ipod touch. Neither can he have at the ranch. I told him we were spending $100 on gifts....would those fall into that category? Nope. Ironically Sam, Zack and Carlton have all asked for the SAME things. Not so ironically they will all get something else.
As Scott wrote the check to Sam's caregiver this week she looked at it and said, "It's already spent on Sam's Christmas!". <sigh> So I will buy for Sam AND he will receive gifts totaling enough for 5 more kids too. I find that tough. Scott says, "Sam doesn't have what the other kids have." In the real things of life, in the most important things of life that might be true....he cares not about family. But in the gifting of life I am going to have to listen to him brag about his gifts to the other children. That makes it hard. But, it is also LIFE. I cannot control that. I am thankful that Sam has a place that is safe and a person that loves him....truly. And if all the money spent and gifts make them happy.....so be it.
As we put up the tree this weekend and ate wonderful meals and worshipped with our church family I realize and understand that my life is so very very blessed! Blessed before a single gift is bought! The gifting is nice, and even fun, but the greatest gift ever given is Christ and because of that gift we live securely.....knowing the greatest gift can never be topped or taken away....
That is the greatest gift of the season!!
I have found that we just have to stick to our principals and our own traditions when it comes to gifting to our children and others. We certainly cannot force others to abide by our ideals and it is so.... frustrating to even try. I can completely understand why Sams' caregiver spending so much money (I can only imagine how much that amount is) on him is frustrating to you. I have had similar experiences and I just wanted to scream!! Is Sam responsible with his things? If not, it will be another blow when all of those expensive things are carelessly broken or become "outdated" and he starts asking for the next best items. I have a few kids who have absolutely no concept of what it costs to buy an item (the time at work for instance in addition to the dollar value). It has gotten easier for me to say no to outrageous requests. It has become less of a personal affront when others do not agree with me and my ideas of what "family" means.
ReplyDeleteThe vacation you give your kids every year with family at Christmas is priceless and the only gift that will ever matter.