I can, BUT....

The word "but" used in a sentence is usually bad.

I can be nice, but ......
I like you, but.......
I can make straight A's, but......
I would never do drugs, but......
I would take repsonsibility for my actions, but.....
I can do my part, but.....
I can clean the kitchen, but......
on and on and on......

The "but" negates the first part.  It's the "but" of the problem.  It's the real reason you will not follow through. The sentence sounds promising, it sounds hopeful, right up until you throw in that "but"!

Carlton is in trouble.  The Ranch almost did not let him come back from fall break.  ALL OF HIS OWN CHOOSING....in a room search they found things that should not have been there.  He has been told time and time again...One of the conditions of his return is that he be willing to stop a bad behavior/habit. He was asked, "Can you, or will you, stop ______ while you are at the ranch?"  Now, we are not talking about an eternity, he just has 7 months until he graduates from high school.  His answer?

I can, BUT............

So in layman's terms......NO.  He will throw it all away. He has thinking errors....ones the size of grizzly bear. Those thinking errors are mauling through his current life and wiping out all the good.  I am physically ill over it.  I hate seeing destruction.  I really hate it. 

We have been more than straight about the rules.  He cannot come home.  Scott, in a serious meeting a month ago, made it clear that if Carlton did not use good judgement and stay at the ranch and complete high school, then we would not support him financially. He is 18, he is an "adult".  He has a place to live, a bed and bathroom of his own, food to eat, transportation, school lunch paid for, school fees paid for, he hunts and goes on trips.....he is truly fine. He doesn't realize how much he has, that he is really blessed.

But, he told Jacob and John (after Scott and I talked with him last night) that he was going to live with a friend.  <sigh>  There's that big ole bear!!  Carlton cannot live with the restrictions being placed on him due to his OWN behaviors.  So he will go live with a friend who (lets be real) is not going to pay his way.  He has no car (so a job isn't going to be easy), he has no phone, he has no MONEY.  He is disrespectful, belligerent, and is dragging that grizzly around with him.....who on earth is going to welcome that very long???

That saying (the one my momma used?)? It's a crying shame. Totally applies here!!

Carlton? He's just mad.  Not at himself. Oh no, he is plum filled up with false entitlement.  I imagine that will only take him so far.  And then, he will have let that grizzly bear destroy all the bridges.

So, I can nicely say that Carlton is a "but".  He could have a great life, but he'd rather not take ownership. He could graduate from high school, but he had rather not have anyone tell him what to do. He can have a roof over his head, food to eat and people who care for him, but he'd will not put up with rules! He wants to go in the Army, but he can do it himself.  He is allowing his "but" to negate all good.  

I take him back to Millington this morning.  Once again having a first-last with a child.  He, of course, has no clue that the future looks grim.  He's just a couple of bad choices away from self destruct.  

Life is not fair.....although to some it is totally fair...In Carlton's position that is so sad and fair......even if it's deserved!

All I can think of this morning are Jesus' words as he hung on the cross, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Carlton has no clue, but it doesn't make him right, just sadly terribly lost.