Today I watched as my Lita helped Scott lay mulch. She smiled and she laughed and she worked beautifully. She's neat like that. Then she got ready for her end of 8th grade party at her friends house and she was dressed in basketball shorts, a t-shirt, basketball shoes and an under armour head band....she looked like a boy (a cute boy but a boy none the less). I talked to her about her "thing". Her appearance is her thing.
Now, truthfully her thing isn't as big as some things, but to her? To her it is. The talk about it is. I am thankful that is the worst thing she has to deal with!
As I raise children, a bunch of them, I find that the things often are tough, sometimes not so tough but the attitude about self is usually the biggest obstacle. People in general, me too, have a hard time with constructive criticism, or in most cases out right redirection.
I am reminded of a friend today on facebook who asked this question:
_____ and _____ have been talking alot about teaching our children. I want input, what do you think a child should learn from their parents? Any answers from as simple as how to change a light bulb to the big stuff: roles in a marriage, how to be the spiritual leader of your family. What do you think all children should know before leaving home. Please comment. Thanks!
I read it to Scott because I knew they were serious......but oh my goodness what a question!
Our response:
Scott's comment was "people write books on that stuff". lol:) But, seriously, for us there are some simple ones (that are really huge and a lot of work but LIFE skills for this world and more importantly as Christians). 1) Trust 2) Ownership 3) Respect. If you teach your children those you have given them the tools they need:)
I believe that, we both do. But oh how hard those three little words are to instill. It takes a long time and it you are lucky you get about 18 years, but we will take any amount of time we can seize!
Some of my teenagers have issues, their "things" that include one or more of those three words. That's when it gets tough. I have spent years talking about those things and I imagine I will spend several more years talking about them too.
The key to unlocking success is getting control of your "thing". We're working on it!
Each one has a thing..."there is a sin that so easily entangles." I believe that we each have a sin that tries to drag us down, however, with that said, I also believe we can have complete victory in Christ (my life being a prime example).
ReplyDeleteBlessings friend,
S
Well said!
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't see this question as disrespectful but im just curious, under which of the 3 words does how Lita dress (or not dress) fall under? I'm just not sure why you didnt approve of what she was wearing
ReplyDeleteI don't at all:) Lita is my least "thing" worthy issue to address. I think of the three though it would be ownership. I know, I really do, that the way we dress is NOT the most important issue....that said, to refuse to dress appropriately because you just like gym shorts and t-shirts is not ok. Time and place. Ownership for her actions. This year she was asked at school to "interview" for a classroom helper. The teachers had super wonderful life skills set up and the students interviewed (like a real job) and gained great experience!! The teacher called and asked me to please have Lita interview, that Lita was PERFECT for the job and was wonderful. The reason she wouldn't interview? BTW, you did recieve extra credit and it did help your grades. She refused to dress appropriately for a job interview. In that case, It was an extreme. I suppose I could even argue respect to "self". Because she refused to dress for the interview she was denying self a good grade and a huge privilege! We talked and it was decided she could interview before school and bring clothes to change into. She got the job. With Lita it isn't "what she's wearing" as much as when she wears it. She would wear the same thing 24/7. For me, it's trying to be fine with comfort, but knowing that there are times you at least put on khaki shorts and a shirt. I see this as a issue for her...her "thing", minor as it may seem in the light of more serious issue...it's still her's. Does that make any sense?
Deleteah ok gotcha, definitely makes sense :) i can see how it could become an issue because while its not too revealing inappropriate type clothes, theyre still inappropriate for every single day/aspect of life. thanks for the clarification
DeleteYou're welcome. I sometime start a thought blogging and never truly address it:)
DeleteI forgot to add that not all "things" are sinful.
ReplyDeleteSummer, I think that is the point of "things"....they can bet used both ways:) Moderation is perhaps the key and motivation....why we do what we do? There are many good things that become bad for us, we just have to constantly be on guard that we are where we need to be (and as mom's we are vigilant for our children too)!
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